I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?! " So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with
my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't
you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed dept. store.
I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. Where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to
the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want
you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs
as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
