I fired my secretary!!!

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Yesterday was my forty-second birthday (and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyways.) I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone "Happy Birthday".

I said to myself, "Well that's wives for you. The kids will remember!" But the son and daughter came to breakfast and didn't say a dang word. So, when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

When I walked into my office, Jessica (my secretary) said "Good Morning, Boss--Happy Birthday!" and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. About noon, Jessica knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and I." I said, "That is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Why the hell not... Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where the work crowd normally goes, we went out west of the city to a private place. We had drinks and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go by my apartment, and I'll fix you another drink."

We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another drink and even smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable" AND I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.

She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were singing "Happy Birthday" and there I sat... with nothing on but my socks.
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More of an urban legend, I guess. I heard this in umpteenth different versions over the last years.

Yeah, thats what I'm starting to realize. My bad yall. Still funny, but clearly not true.

old as fuck and most likely a repost

youre fired.

HOLY SHIT!! hahahahahaha

How do I say this? Oh, yeah... YOU FAIL!

Well he didn't fail for me...it was the first time i heard that and found it rather amusing... and plus he did apologize didn't he?

we at DS dont forgive people.
forgiveness is a sign of weakness, and you're obviously a pussy.

^ Son of a bitch, that is so true.

well for fucks sake...i was just saying that...you know what... OSUCherokee has failed all of us...we will not forget or forgive...that better?

Just ignore it. Don't defend people and don't criticize people. Everything is smoother that way.

All of "us"? Since when did you become one of "us". Anyone can register...not everyone can stay. Welcome to DS.

ahem..when exactly does one become one of "you"?

be a nonforgiving prick and stop asking so many questions.
also pokemon in the avatar is a terrible strategy.

"one" is the only member who has had that and subsequently gotten away with it. I stress again... the ONLY one.

man you know what's weird...there doesn't seem to be a written age limit but by reading the posts you can tell there really is an age limit it's just not exactly very aparent...i do love this forum but i'm afraid i won't last too long just because i'm 13... no offence

well now that everyone knows you're 13, you're definitely fucked.

so far i haven't pissed anyone off (i don't think) and like i said before i just hope that i can stick around... onikozah or however you spell his name (sorry dude it's just a hard name) is 14 i think and he's been around for a while...and i'm almost 14 also...once again i hope i can stick around for a while...