bwahahaha. Gotta love Chuck Norris and DeviantArt!!

some "Facts" I never heard before that are hilarious:

- Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

- Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

WAY MORE THAN BEFORE: http://chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html

A few of my fav's:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will fuck you up.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

Chuck Norris is so bad a**, that when he goes into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

my camera phone sucks

I'm not sure if the website has this one:

One day, a blind guy bumped into Chuck norris on the street. The blind man said sorry and Chuck Norris said it's ok. Then, the blind man suddenly got his sight back! The first and last things the blind man saw was Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris was actually born Merle Jenkins. At school a bully named Chuck Norris made fun of Merle's name, so Merle roundhouse kicked him into outer space and declared, "I am now Chuck Norris." Thus began the phrase "kicking ass and taking names."


bwahahaha!!

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can in fact touch MC Hammer.

LOL!!

ok
chuck norris jokes arent funny.
At All.

Yes, they freaking are! Don't be such a pissclown.

BENNY IS NOT A PISSCLOWN.

chucknorrisfacts.com just ripped off the facts from the original source...

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

You'll also find the original Mr. T and Vin Diesel fact generators as well.

Yea, but they do give credit bro. And it's much easier when you don't have to rank and shit just to see another fact.

Chuck Norris once walked down a street while he had an erection, there were no survivors.

these are hilarious!!



anyways, did anyone happen to see the walker texas ranger clips on conan obrien a long time ago? now those were funny.

I'm sorry, I know some people hate these, but this one gets me every time...
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.