Anyways, my answering machine is pretty lame right now. I wanna put some life/humor into it. Throw down ideas of what my answering machine line should be. Feel free to be creative

Son of a- *beep*

How about you make it "Hey, this is _, leave a message"

You're not witty. I don't like your music. Your jokes are stupid. I don't want to have to wait 10 minutes to listen to your stupid bullshit because you think you're an inventive comedy genius just to leave a message.

hahahahaa!!! excellent one WRSX!!

My friends aren't like you, im sorry. They know me for being a little out of control, so something different is normal.

hahaha.... fantastic!

well i heard this one a while ago, and it usually works if you've got a girlfriend or a wife:

*moaning noise* i like doing it standing up .. *moaning noise* and she likes doing it lying down .. *moaning noise* so when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .leave a message

I had one like that before. Didn't go over too well when my mom called and I didn't pick up.

Well if the only people you're going to have call you are your 3 friends then by all means go ahead.

BURN!!!! That really hurts considering you don't even know me. Don't know why you took offence from me shutting down your idea.

When you have to call a list of people to tell them a party is cancelled and half of them have shit they think is fucking HILARIOUS on their answering machine or music, you get tired of it.

Remember Seinfeld ?
"Beleive it or not , George isn't at home , so leave a message at the beep . I must be out or I'd pick up the phone , where could I be ? Believe it or not , I'm not home . "

Don't ask me how I remember that .

"I'm getting stuffed up the ass by a transvestite prostitute right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you after I finish cleaning up the semen."

http://my.ohio.voyager.net/~shoemake/sound...rge-machine.mp3

I got one where i say "It's Anders (silence...) leave a message" but i think i'll change it 'cause i get alot of "Hey, its.. wha!? Oh for "/"(¤&)#/(&(#" messages...

i had a book for answer machine jokes but i lost it..

i got it for free at school

I emulated A32's voice to the best of my ability and did that for my cell phone.

Nobody calls me so yeah.

This is an all time classic. I may have to use this one myself.

i employed a frustrating one until i started giving my number to potential employers...


*phone rings - goes to voicemail*
voicemail - hello?
caller - hey, this is so and so
VM - oh, hey hows it goin
caller - pretty good, I...
VM - i dont care. why dont you just shut up and leave a message.
caller - DAMMIT! (subsequent angry message)

i loved it. got my mom about 4-5 times before she began to recognize my recorded voice.

thats fucking genius lol

i heard one that says "hello? ..... hello? .. anyone there? thanks for calling and not saying a word .. HELLO? .... leave a message"

I did that too, just less elaborate. Mine just said "Hey...(long pause)". So, yeah.

*Sing the following to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony*

Nobody's Home,
Nobody's Home,
Or We cant be bothered,
To answer the phone,
so leave your message
after the tone


*beep*

A nice big slice of classic answering machine Cheese


For the uncultured amongst you, Beethoven's 5th can be played with the below link
http://members.tripod.com/hunt_solutions/BSymph.mid

What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?


Ba-na-na-na